A Perfectly Imperfect Marriage

I recently read somewhere that if we only fell in love with people who were perfect for us, then there wouldn’t be so much fuss about love in the first place. That easily could have been written about my marriage to Tom. When we met, we had almost nothing in common.  I was a born and bred Jewish New Yorker from a divorced, and remarried family with several half-siblings, who attended college in NYC and only dated guys with accents. I wasn’t athletic in the least, and I’d never had a beer in my life; I preferred Kir Royales sipped slowly in dark wine bars in Soho. My hobbies included reading, dancing, and shopping in flea markets and second-hand stores. Tom grew up in a Catholic family in Rhode Island, with a football captain father, and a homecoming queen mother. His entire life centered around sports, all sorts. When the family would come to the beach house for weekends, they would get a keg (just for the family).

But from almost the first moment we met, in a training program at Merrill Lynch, we were melded to one another. It was a match that many couldn’t quite understand. This weekend, we celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary, and although it wasn’t a “big” number, each anniversary we celebrate is the most important day of the year. In my high school yearbook, when asked to list my life goals, it says, “To be the President of something, and to be married successfully.” I was 17 when I wrote that, and although I have given up on the first part, I couldn’t be happier that I have managed to attain the last.

Each year we make sure to make a big deal out of our anniversary, and this year was no different. We shared one of the best meals I’ve had in a long time with old Tokyo friends who now live in Napa. On a side note, if you want the inside scoop on all things Napa, follow Hilary’s blog at Napanista. I had somehow scored a reservation at Legacy Records, and it was the perfect place to celebrate our anniversary. From the gulp-able cocktails to the unbelievably delicious food, to the decor, and overall buzz in the room (not to mention sitting next to Sting), made it a great start to an exceptional evening.

From there, I reserved a table at our favorite champagne bar Air’s Champagne Parlor. Amanda saved us a fabulous corner table where we ordered a bottle of Louis Roederer vintage champagne and continued our celebration. Tom and Chris had fun with their Chambongs.

We ended the night at the bar at Gramercy Tavern with one last drink and a shared hamburger and homemade chips.

Saturday morning, Tom and I made our way to Raoul’s for an anniversary brunch. We had many dates at Raoul’s back in the late 80’s, and it continues to hold a special place in our lives. Not to mention, it has somehow managed to stay relevant 30 years later. The drag queens are gone, but you can still have your tarot cards read while you wait for the bathroom. They make an incredible hamburger au poivre that you can only enjoy at brunch or the bar. Somehow the soundtrack yesterday was from the 80’s and we ate our way out of our hangovers listening to the Pet Shop Boys, Soft Cell, and Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark.

The last of the planned weekend anniversary festivities was a real treat. We returned to Westchester for a small and very delicious dinner party with the two couples who were there when it all began. Some “never before told” stories were revealed over a perfectly cooked meal, accompanied by very old Moet. The perfect end to a magical weekend.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage, but if you’re lucky, you’ll find yourself in a perfectly imperfect one.

Have fun. Be bold.






I’m a curious person who’s always looking around the corner for the new and the different and the delicious and the exciting. Friends often ask for suggestions and I enjoy sharing my discoveries. There are a lot of “things to do in nyc” blogs and articles and even though this blog will hopefully give the reader some new ideas about what to do while in nyc, it will also provide a window into what it’s like to live here as a grown-up who doesn’t need to be at after school pickup. My days are my own and usually pretty fluid. I work from home and set my own schedule and spontaneity has returned to my life after decades of planning ahead. Don’t get me wrong, I still love to plan, but now it’s not the default. Many days I walk outside my apartment with a destination but no exact way of getting there. That’s when the magic happens.

Things I’ve been up to lately:

Went to the Yayoi Kusama exhibit last week to find a four hour line to take a mirrored selfie. I skipped the line and went right to the art, where there was no line. Having lived in Japan twice I’m a huge fan of Kusama’s and all things Japanese. This exhibit spans three galleries. I would skip the upper east side gallery (it wasn’t worth the subway fare and the time spent getting there) and the 4 hour line (I’m sure it’s cool, but I can’t give up four hours of my life for a selfie) and just visit the Zwirner Gallery at 533 West 19th.

Monday I went to the  Guggenheim  for the Art and China after 1989 exhibit. I really enjoyed visiting the Guggenheim because it has a determinate beginning and end. You start on the 7th floor and wind your way down like a Carvel ice cream cone until you are where you started about 2 hours later. I often find myself wandering aimlessly in large museums and get completely overwhelmed. Not so at the Guggenheim. I included a picture not of any exhibit, but of the school kids lying in the lobby looking up at Frank Lloyd Wright’s magnificent creation. Why don’t we take the time to lie down and look up?

After lunch we stopped at Sarabeth’s Kitchen on the upper east side (there are other locations). I like Sarabeth’s  because its reliable and you know what you’re going to get. Their creamy tomato soup is the exact thing you want to eat on a cold fall day.

Tuesday afternoon I logged on to seatgeek to see if I could get two tickets to Wednesday’s matinée performance of Meteor Shower with Amy Shumer. Lucky me, I scored two house seats for the original price of $169. Our seats were fabulous (Rosie O’Donnel sat two seats down from us) and the show was hilarious. I walked to the theater and back as walking is my exercise of choice. I try and make sure I walk about 5 miles every day so that I can justify eating  Kouign-Amann at Daily Provisions (for breakfast).

Thursday I played tennis in a bubble on the upper east side at Yorkville Tennis Club. I’m always amazed that somehow there are still a few tennis bubbles in existence in NYC. I took the Q, my favorite subway because the new art-filled stations make you feel like you’re in Paris.

Went to see a friend do standup Thursday night at the Comic Strip. $5 entrance fee at the door with a two drink minimum and very good popcorn. These days there seems to be a lot of interesting material for comics.

Friday morning I dropped in at Russ and Daughters  If you like bagels with smoked fish it’s really the best place around (and it’s been around for a very long time). Friday morning is a great time to go because there are hardly any lines. Come on a Saturday and you can wait for over 30 minutes.  However, it’s always a show and extremely entertaining.

I did some stocking stuffer shopping this week at Flying Tiger. This place is amazing. It puts any dollar store to shame and it’s from Copenhagen so it’s totally cool and hip. Nothing is more than $10 and many things are only $1. It’s around the corner so I find myself there… a lot.

Thanks for reading. It’s Saturday morning and there’s a big world outside waiting…